MOMMY PLAY WITH US....

Wow! It is almost a year after the last post. So much for my attempt at keeping  a diary…let alone an open one.

At the time I started with this diary, I had a 9-5 job and my online store where I sell ladies apparels mainly (on several platforms). As I write, I still do both except I now run a logistics business. Were my last two posts not saying something about me not having enough time for my kids? Call me crazy. Adding more to what I do instead of trying to cut down on that. *sigh*.  Anyways, we get by somehow. Not much has changed.

Unfortunately, like this time last year, my nanny is about to leave for good.  I am on vacation as usual…I mean I am off my 9-5 work till next year so I do not have to run out of the house by 5.30am for now. The husband is not in the country and this would have been a good time for Bola to be around for longer. Remember Bola, the me before I became a mommy and a wife… that one that is almost forgotten but still struggling to exist? I was out with my bestie some days ago. I asked to join her and some of her other friends to the beach. I honestly believed that would be very relaxing considering the immense pressure I had been under in the last few weeks…workwise. I was probably only relaxed for a bit. She asked me: ‘hope you had fun?’ Me: ‘ha yes o I did’. (big lie lol). Which fun now, when half the time I was trying to reach my riders to know if they were able to get fuel to do the deliveries for the day, another part of the time I was trying to calm my clients down and reassure them that they would get their packages delivered same day. As soon as it was 5pmish, mommyness jumped in and I could not push away the guilty feeling like ‘how are the kids? I am sure they wish I was with them. I am sure they are so bored at home considering there might not be power supply etc etc’. I finally got on the journey back home and kai! The traffic ehh. Maaad. I did not get home till around 9pmish.

We are home…me and the girls….they want me to ‘play with them’. I took them out for breakfast earlier today and they were happy but they are constantly asking me if I will be at home till they resume. Constantly wanting to know if I have anywhere to go the next day. All they want is for me to sit at home with them or if I have to go out then we all must. Is there a way I can make the house interesting for them while I am away as there are days I will definitely need to go out without them? Is there a reason they always want me around or is it that there is something I am not doing right? We danced together today….this and a few other little things are ways we bond or ways I think we can bond. Still….doesnt seem enough for them.

…looks like I need to do more parenting.